Insanity Update

Aidan is doing SO well in residential that I'm shocked every weekend when I get to see him. He's lost 18 lb in the last month, which was much needed. He's happy, has energy, and far more social and optimistic than I've ever seen him. He will be there another 2-3 months. I don't like him being away from home, but I can't deny that it is really making a difference that seems to be rocking him to his core. :)

Korbin is my 9 year old who has autism and tourette's, but seems to be slipping over to schizophrenia too. He's totally delusional. This last week he's attacked me several times. We've increased his meds. Depakote went from 250mg at night to 250mg/ 2x daily. We also took his Abilify from 2.5mg at night to 5mg at night. I tried to get him in acute for an eval and medication stabilization, but he's not trying to "kill" me, so it's not an emergency in their eyes.

We've started the paperwork to get Korbin in the residential program at another local kids' psych hospital. The place that is helping Aidan so much wasn't able to do anything for Korbin back in September. This new place seems to have more experience with lower functioning kids with autism and schizophrenia. The school district is thrilled b/c he hasn't been inside a classroom since last March and refuses to to work with the homebound teacher.

I'm just kind of in a panic about both of my sons being away from home. I've been 100% mom 24/7 for 2 very challenging boys for 9 and 13 years. I know I should take the time to relax and take care of me, but the only thing I can really think of doing is curling up in my bed and crying until one of them is back home again so I have a reason to suck it up and go on. Part of me is screaming "Holy cow! You've become codependent on your screwy kids!" The other part of my feels I'm totally justified in being deeply depressed.

Well, I've got 2-4 weeks before the paperwork is done and a bed is available for Korbin. Until then I have to keep him, me, and the house safe from his rage. Maybe by then I can talk myself into a facial or something. I've just done this for so long I don't know life without insanity.